Thursday, May 1, 2008

You Are Not Just a Mother, You Are You First!

Mothers face many challenges in todays world. They carry the responsibility of many roles. Through these roles we become different things to different people. Sometimes we get divided over having a career and having a families or find conflict between the different jobs that we try to do. Making the question Who am I? even harder to answer.

It grows harder because mothers see this little person that looks up at them with innocent trusting eyes, mommy is everything to that little one. She makes the hurt from boo-boos go away with a kiss, chases the monsters from under the bed away, and rocks them after a bad dream. Every mother takes that responsibility and carries it with her no matter where she goes. It is an awesome responsibility of caring for this wonderful little person and being mom is always on the mind. As much as it is wonderful to revel in mommyhood, we still need to remember that being a mother is just one part of us, the more we allow ourselves to see who we are the better examples we can set for our children to leading a balanced life.

As a mother, I have struggled to find my own identity. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner, a sister, a friend..but who am I? It is easy to define yourself by what you do and what you mean to other people. As we take on these different roles our own identity gets blurred. It is harder to make the distinction. Who am I if I am not Logans mom or Bens wife?

Who are you? A wife, a mother, an employee, they are all a part of who we are, but they do not define you. We are the only ones that are able to define who we are. When are we just women? Women that have our own values, ideas, and philosophies, women that are able to embrace their different roles in life, but still are able to maintain there sense of self.

The importance of women defining who they are is giving them a chance to grow as women. To recognize that they need to take off all the different hats that they wear during the day and take time to honor who they are.

The problem is that because they are in so many different roles that they stop seeing themselves separate from them. They stop taking time for themselves, because they are giving so much to everyone else. Does this sound familiar? Have you lost your identity among the different jobs that you do everyday? How do you see yourself?

Here are a few questions that can help you determine if you are defining yourself by what you do instead of who you are:

Do you spend at least an hour a day doing the things that you want to do? (Reading, participating in hobbies, watching your favorite TV program, etc)

When asked to describe yourself do you start with I enjoy or I am a woman that believe/feel.? Or do you say, I am a mother or I am a nurse

Are you able to say no to things that interfere with the things that you want to do? Or that you do not have time for?

Do you feel that your life is in balance? Which means that you get enough time to pursue your own interest instead of just the interest of your children or significant other?

Do you feel that you spend time equally on yourself as you do on others?

If you answered no to any of the questions it is time to get back in touch with yourself. You need to not only stop defining yourself by what you do but you need to spend sometime getting to know who you are.

Here are some tips for you to get in touch with the forgotten woman inside.

Make sure that you spend time perusing your own interests. The problem with defining yourself by what you do is that you dont give yourself time to do what you want to do; your time is spent doing for others. Do something that you have always wanted to do; take a class, start a book club, anything that gives you some time to just do your own thing. Above all make the time to do it! Its ok to do something for yourself.

Say NO frequently! Just because you take on different roles does not mean that you have to do everything for everybody. Recognize when there is something that others could really do for themselves. Do not let yourself be taken advantage of! REMEMBER it is just as much of a benefit for others to learn how to do for themselves as it is to you.

Make sure that you have OFF DUTY time! Just like a conventional job, make sure there is a time of day when you are done. Dont work right up until you go to bed. Give yourself time to unwind, distress, and relax. Wait until the kids are in bed and take a long hot bubble bath. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book. Meditate or do yoga. Do whatever relaxes you. You need this time to maintain some balance. Because of you multiple roles you are on the clock the majority of the time. You have to have time to distress! Without it you are going to burn out. Visualize your bank account if you keep making withdraws without making a deposit, eventually you are going to just run out of resources. Make sure to take time to revitalize yourself.

I have found that by maintaining my own identity that I am a better mother, wife, daughter, business owner, sister, and friend. It maintains balance in my life because I know that even though I am different things to different people; I know what it means to just be me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tonya Ramsey is a life coach and owner of Life By Design. She specializing in assisting working mothers find life balance to maintain a healthy and peaceful life. For more information on Tonyas services or to receive a free life coaching session to help you design the life that you want, visit Life By Design web site or send an e-mail. Why juggle your life when you can balance it.

[ copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey. All Rights Reserved. This article may be freely reproduced as long as the ABOUT THE AUTHOR at the bottom of this article is included unedited. Links must be Active/Linkable]

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Get Started Exercising Now, But Take It Easy!

So you're overweight, "fat"--to be honest--and you want to start exercising. Before you take off like an overlarge airplane and start preparing for the Olympics trials, stop right there. You may have it all figured out by now, after checking with your friends, the media and finally that fickle fiend known as the bathroom mirror, that a regular exercise program is the only way to fly when it comes to permanent weight loss. That entails working out or otherwise flexing your physical and psychological muscles on a regular basis, perhaps three times a week, or maybe even once per day.

But therein lies the rub. How do you get started? How often do you exercise? Most importantly, if you've been very sedate or at least somewhat off your feet for awhile, what's the safest way to begin an effective, weight-loss centered exercise program?

Beginning a Righteous Program--Realistically

First of all, follow the old saw about consulting with your doctor. Don't start thinking you can just begin running around the block. That's why the medical profession exists, to advise and keep you safe. You doctor will recommend specific types of exercise tailored to fit your own individual lifestyle, personal health needs and concerns. But you don't need to make it entirely clinical when you begin an exercise program.

Most importantly, you need to pick something you're going to stick with. What do you like in the way of sports? If you're people-oriented, you should look into joining a team sports program of some kind in your area, one created for adult participation. You can look for a local softball league, take a beginning aerobics class at a fitness center, or play regular games of basketball at a gym with your buddies. and then there's golf, the perennial favorite of people who want to perform fun and interesting mild exercise. All you have to do is motivate yourself and perhaps some friends to get started. Or if you're a loner, you can take up an individualized sport such as bicycle touring, which can also be done in small groups, or laps swimming at your community pool.

And if you like to be around a humungous amount of people, how about mall-walking, one of the latest in adult and family mild fitness trends, or the more traditional act of partner dancing, which you can do at all kinds of gathering places such as local taverns, senior centers, community halls and social clubs. There's an almost infinite number of places you can go and groups you can join. Just pick one, and remember to start out with a breezy, fun and easygoing attitude. You're not punishing yourself; you're picking up on a lifelong habit of moving your body for health purposes. You'll feel better, look fitter and maybe meet new people while you're dropping those needless extra pounds.

But be realistic, and work with your doctor. You want to aim for something fun that you'll keep committing to doing regularly. If it's something you hate, perhaps such as running on a track, climbing stairs or using what seems to you to be boring exercise equipment, forget it! Don't spend all your money on something you can't keep doing because you feel guilty, or think you have to punish yourself into exercising. Be sure you like what you're going to do before you get started. Simply walking around the block is a very inexpensive and potentially fun way to go from a sedentary state to a beginning new level of much better health and fitness. You must start with something easy and simple if you haven't been exercising for decades, and you should gradually increase your level of activity as you feel comfortable with it. Move by inches, not by miles.

Are you a morning or an evening person? If you're the former, plan to work out in the morning, and if you wake up later in the day, do your routine more near twilight. Also, as your doctor will tell you, start with a small window of time, perhaps only fifteen minutes at first, and slowly increase it every other day or so. In order to achieve a higher level of fitness and to lose weight, you must perform whatever exercise you choose at least three to four times a week. This is better at first than every day, as a rest may be needed between workouts to give your aching muscles a chance to soothe themselves and heal before you bravely saunter forth again or head back merrily to the gym.

Eventually, you can try exercising every single day, anywhere from twenty minutes to a full hour. But especially at first--and that may be for several months--don't push yourself too hard. Don't go all out, and get frustrated because you can't keep it up. You don't have to be a college athlete, and you can seriously hurt your heart by pushing too hard or overdoing it. Remember, you're doing this for fun, for health reasons and to feel good about yourself. Don't try to become an "athlete" unless you think that will be something you'll want to commit to on a much more rigorous schedule. Later!

Easy Exercise Comes--Naturally

Americans tend to think of exercise as more their duty than as a part of their culture, or "way of life." But it's a true lifestyle preference. Throughout the world, many forms of regular exercise are taking hold of whole general populations. Take walking, for example. In Europe, people are flocking to their local well-developed public hiking trails, and there's quite a few of those spread across the USA as well. Walking of a moderate type is called Volkssport in Europe, and it's really been around for many centuries.

Easy-going exercise such as walking continues to stave off heart disease, osteoporosis, high cholesterol and many types of cancer, as well as taking care of most of your belly flab. It doesn't sound like much, but it will really tighten your whole body up. Your legs will especially benefit, and your buns will automatically grow firmer as you stroll. Not to mention that the worst investment you need to make is a pair of comfy, sturdy sensible shoes, preferably made of leather or canvas with rubber soles. You may think that yoga is some uncomfortable form of Eastern self-punishment and mysticism, but it's not. Yoga is great for toning your body, as it's extremely gentle when done correctly. It combines traditional breathing and relaxation techniques with simple stretching. It's good to use yoga during a weight-loss program when you're sedentary, as it's very easy on your body, you don't have to repeat the same exercises every day, and it requires a minimal time commitment. Yoga can be used in conjunction with a more rigorous exercise program to help maintain your overall state of fitness. "Yoga doesn't take over your life, it enhances it," says Alice Cristensen, founder and executive director of the American Yoga Association.

Continuing Your Program--Goals and Motivation

Okay, so you've gotten started, but what does all this have to do with watching your weight? To keep on schedule with this as your original goal, you also have to keep that commitment to lose enough poundage to be a healthy, happy and physically fit person.

First of all, you have to figure out exactly what you're expecting to accomplish. Are you looking for optimal health, or do you really want to fit into slinky clothes better? Either way, you're going to have to set goals and try to attain them as you go. It helps to clearly keep in mind what you're aiming for, and it helps to visualize yourself at your ideal weight several times a day. This image impresses itself upon your subconscious and inwardly motivates you to continue your program with a bulldog's sheer tenacity and motivation. You want that; whatever happens, you don't want to stress out and quit. Try looking at old photographs of yourself at your ideal weight and picturing realistically what you'll look like when you're back there again. Don't expect the Fountain of Youth, but you'd be shocked how close you can get to your mental picture, and how good you're going to feel as you move your body, eat less liberally and become fit and not fat.

Also, you should make a brief list of the five major reasons you're embarking on an exercise and weight-loss program. Do you want to bring down your blood pressure? Does being fat make you feel too old? Do you want to attract someone new in your life? When you sit in your car, does your stomach practically turn the steering wheel? Make it a point to carry this list with you wherever you go, and when you get in the mood to quit and give up, whip it out and read it aloud, saying to yourself that this is what you really want.

You must also remember to keep it simple when you're losing weight. In most cases, burning more calories than you ingest is the biggest concern. You have to expend approximately 3,500 calories to lose one pound of adipose fat tissue. Water weight doesn't count, and that's what a lot of people lose at first. Also, the important thing about exercise is that you can eat almost normally and still lose the weight at a healthy and reasonable pace. If you don't exercise and try to lose weight, you'll be tempted to embark on a starvation diet. This has been shown to make you lose lean muscle mass instead of fat in most cases, and although you'll drop some pounds, they may be the wrongest ones. Chances are that if you're unfit while you're losing weight, you'll get physically tired, sleep less, become overly emotional, and stress out and become extremely irritable. It simply isn't healthy to do it that way, so you need at least a moderate exercise program.

Try keeping a journal of your progress every day, and consult with it when you want to know how far along you've come. You can also use it to gauge how you're doing, and whether or not you're losing weight at a reasonable pace. Congratulate yourself every time you ate the right thing, kept to your walking schedule, or didn't give in to temptation that day by making a brief note about it. Read the journal to inspire you about what you're doing whenever you feel the urge to let go.

Meanwhile, as you chart your progress, take the time to reward yourself for everything you're doing right. Ignore occasional slipups, and don't let them bother you. Move on and motivate yourself by going to a movie, taking a break from work, going to the beach or whatever floats your boat. Don't reward yourself with food, ever! Find other methods of loving life and use them. Treating yourself manifests your brain's reward system and keeps you striving toward your goals.

Don't forget to share any successes or failures with your friends and family. Tell them all about how proud you are of the new lifestyle choices you're making, and share in their enthusiasm. They want you to be healthy and go on living, and so do you. But some of them may worry that you're starving yourself or are in a state of denial. Reassure them, and proceed carefully with your healthy diet and exercise plans, while always knowing that it's exactly what you need to do to look better, feel stronger and live longer.

Easy Dieting Tips to Live By--Starting Now

Never eat after 7 pm. Studies prove that your body's metabolism begins to shut down in the early evening. It needed fuel to function earlier, but at night you're getting yourself ready to fall asleep. Eat the bulk of your daily food intake around noon--that's when you're burning the most calories. But if you work nights, do it the other way around, of course. It's not the time of day that's important; it's the fact that your body is well-adjusted to a cycle where it doesn't burn many calories before and during bedtime.

Americans are used to eating super-sized meals, so learn to limit your portion size. Eat smaller meals five or six times a day instead of the standard three huge ones, and grab healthy snacks like vegetables, fruits and yogurt in-between. You want to prevent any binging or "pigging out" that could occur. Eat modestly, but often, and be sure to drink plenty of healthy fluids--mostly, pure cool water.

Limit your intake of saturated fats, sugars and any other substances in food proven to add empty calories to your daily diet. Don't drink any pop or sodas at all as they're very bad for you generally, being full of chemicals. Diet sodas tempt you into drinking the sugary ones, and all soda pop robs water from your system and makes you thirstier. That can lead to eating more food.

Eat lots of vegetables and fruits. You might want to go easy on some of the higher-calorie fruits such as starchy bananas, and don't eat lots of high-fat avocados. But in general veggies are a dieter's best friend. You might want to always eat your veggies with some meat protein to curb any histamines that might ravage your system and make it harder for you to breathe. Also, eating plenty of veggies kills the hunger signals from your brain, due to their sheer bulk and fiber. And the nutrients in fruits and veggies will increase your physical strength. Eat your spinach!

Also eat lots of whole grains, which provide antioxidants that fight cancer and help you feel satisfied in a manner similar to that of eating veggies. But whole grains are even more filling, and help you digest your food. You want to eat plenty of fibrous foods, plus drinking lots of water, to flush toxins left over in your body from the dieting completely out of your system.

Take a healthy multivitamin. Don't go overboard and try to take everything, because some of the substances we need interact non-positively and can cause chemical imbalances. Consult with your doctor and see what's recommended nowadays. One good wholistic multivitamin and mineral supplement--not a megadose of potentially harmful chemicals--can improve your skin, hair, overall appearance in general, and also your chances of managing on a little bit less food.

Lastly--Remember This

Please remain consistently aware of one thing: these are radical, life-changing choices that you're making each day and night, and you've got to stick with them. Not everyone else in the world is going to live this way, but many people are and it's a sensational start! Think that you really have no choice, if you want to go on living for many long years and be vibrant, strong and healthy. Realize that your loved ones truly need you, and that the right thing to do is to take the best possible care of yourself. Tell yourself that with honest compassion, every single waking moment of your entire life.

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Buy Used Golf Clubs

Many golfers searching to buy used golf clubs already know the brand and model they are looking for. The hard part is finding the best used golf club at a great price. Lets go through the processes most people use to buy used clubs.

  1. You know you want a MacGregor MACTEC NVG2 TOUR 9 Degree Driver so the first place you go is to your favorite search engine.
  2. Search for that specific club online with the term used in front of it. If your results are not what you are looking for, put quotes around your search term. This will bring up web pages that contain your search term in that exact order.
  3. You will see several sites selling the same model used club. Compare the prices you are seeing and the company or person that is selling it. Another issue you need to make sure you look at is shipping costs. You may find a cheaper used club at one company, then realize it costs more due to the added shipping costs. Many companies also offer free shipping.
  4. After reviewing the prices you realize that you can save an average of $150 on each used club.
  5. Ready to buy? Again, look at price of club, shipping costs, condition of club, and trustworthiness of seller.
With some sites, it is difficult to know what condition the used club is in. Below is how Global Golf lets their customers know the condition of the used clubs on their website.

Global Golf's 6 tier rating system for used golf clubs:

***** Mint Used Golf Clubs

These clubs have yet to be put into play and have no to very limited visible signs of use. This is essentially slightly shop worn stock product coming directly from the golf shop.

****Excellent Used Golf Clubs

These clubs have been extremely well cared for and have seen very limited play. They exhibit exceptional cosmetic appearance with only slight signs of usage.

***Very good Used Golf Clubs

Clubs in this category have been well cared for while being played and used under normal circumstances. These clubs show typical signs of use, with no dings, skymarks or excessive wear.

**Good Used Golf Clubs

These clubs are very playable, but exhibit one or a combination of light scratching on the face, sole, or crown. None of these cosmetic alterations will affect the playability characteristics or integrity of this club.

*Fair Used Golf Clubs

Fair clubs, although playable, have one or a combination of heavy scratches, skymarks, or light dings. These clubs have been played, and give the appearance of use, but the integrity or playability of the club has not been compromised.

Poor Used Golf Clubs

Poor condition clubs are affected to the point of not being playable, therefore they do not offer these clubs to their customers.

Al Scillitani
Internet Marketing Manager
Global Golf Used & New Golf Clubs Golf Shoes Only

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Review of "Fergus, the Soccer Playing Colt"

Fergus, a palomino colt at Simpson Farms, displays unusual talents. Besides twirling in the air and executing daring back flips, Fergus loves to play soccer. Bobby Simpson and his friend, Ramon, set up a goal in the pasture and let Fergus guard it while they practice penalty kicks and heading the ball. The agile colt blocks all their shots. He flicks the ball off his nose or whirls around and kicks it with his back feet.

Soon the local news, then CNN and other networks feature the golden goalkeeper. People flock to the farm to watch Fergus play with the boys. All the publicity boosts the popularity of soccer in the United States, drawing the attention of Ian Connor from the International Soccer Federation. He asks to borrow Fergus and the boys for a fourteen-city tour promoting the colt and the sport of soccer. The boys parents agree and the tour launches successfully with Fergus enjoying the matches and playing flawlessly. All goes well until the colt is horse-napped partway through the tour by three bad guys who scheme to turn him into a bucking rodeo champ. The rest of the story relates Ferguss struggles and his return to Simpson Farms.

Petersons book should entice young (8- to 12-year-old) boys to read. He offers adventure, sports, and humor. His bad guys provide comic relief and still have a conscience. In an era when few books cater to the young male reader, Fergus is a welcome addition. Young girls can enjoy the story of this endearing colt, too.

Fergus, The Soccer-Playing Colt
By Dan A. Peterson
Raven Publishing, Inc. (2005)
Reviewed by Kim Peterson (not related to author) for Reader Views (1/06)

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Shapely & Healthy - Things You Want To Know About Colon Cleansing

Shapely as in sexy? Most of you would surely like to know if colon cleansing or detoxification aids in weight loss and promises you the whistle-bait figure you missed, or wanting to acquire all these years. In a way, yes it can. However, colon-cleansing is not your overnight weight-loss sensation; in fact it is not about it at all. There have been no therapeutic claims made about weight-loss as a guaranteed result of cleansing your colon. What detoxification through colon cleansing aims to achieve is overall good health by elimination of toxic wastes piled up inside the body. As stored body wastes get eliminated, your body can get back in shape both in its literal and figurative sense.

When do you know its time to detoxify?
Your body has a tell-all mechanism built by nature, which gives off signals when it is failing off the mark of good health. When most of the following symptoms start to show, it is time to consider seriously, colon-cleansing:

Common symptoms:
-Fatigue for no apparent reason;
-Bloating;
-Constipation;
-Gas;
-Flatulence;
-Digestive and Abdominal Discomfort.

Why colon cleansing?
The colon is the central repository of waste in the human body. When the large intestines do not function properly, waste is not eliminated from the body as nature intends it to, and waste by-products, such as toxins and harmful bacteria, get recycled in the body causing damages on the major body organs. Blood bathes the organs from the colon. When the colon stores waste it could not eliminate, imagine what blood carries back into the blood channels, leading to all internal organs where it flows.

For greater impact on health, colon-cleansing should be given a closer look. The internet offers a long list of colon-cleansing programs: natural herbal remedy for colon cleansing is fast becoming the trend due to favorable feedbacks from those who tried it.

Be wary about programs of longer duration as studies showed, they are more likely not completed. Choose shorter programs instead, which you can complete and your bite-sized goals realized before moving on to the next. You may also resort to the more convenient herbal home remedy.

This is the secret of success in weight-loss or in any health programs: better build on success, little by little. When you acquire success in little attempts, your confidence will soar. You will be inspired to carry on and never give up. When you do it the other way, youd end up frustrated and easily discouraged to finish the program because your feeling of inadequacy gets in the way. How would I know if my colon cleansing program is working?

First, how does it work?
The main purpose of colon cleansing is to promote peristalsis on the large intestines, which moves the waste down to the rectum for excretion. This is helpful most especially when the large intestines have slowed down and elimination of waste is not done regularly. Ideally, excretion of waste should be done at least 2-3 times a day; elimination of waste regularly will boost energy and get rid of a sluggish feeling.

To aid your colon-cleansing or detoxification program, you should increase your fiber intake, maintain a low fat diet, have lavish servings of fruits and vegetables, help yourself with protein servings of chicken, fish or their alternates and more importantly, drink 8 glasses or more of water. Natural fruit juices can be taken in lieu of water.

As you complete your program, you would notice transformation on your skin, as well as in your moods. You will feel great. It makes sense to conclude that when you start eliminating the excess baggage, youd become lighter and feel healthier. Getting shapely can now come easy.

Get more details about Natural Herbal Remedies and Allergy Relief then visit http://www.getmedicine.com/

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Back Massage Techniques

Back Massage is one of the best ways through which you can relive yourself from back pain.You can use various back massage techniques for benefits, such as relaxation, increased body awareness, better blood circulation and improved lymphatic drainage for release of toxins.

Selecting a right back massage technique is important for receiving maximum benefits. Typically, during the back massage, a masseur uses massage oil to decrease friction created on the skin and to prevent the pulling of skin hair.

According to the back massage techniques propogated by the experts, less the quantity of oil applied, the greater is the friction and deeper will be the pressure. Use light stroking movements throughout your massage to move from one area to another, to soothe an area of localized deep tissue or to make a transition to another stroke.

Step By Step Guide for Back Massage

Mentioned below are few steps, which detail back massage techniques for relieving back pain.

The person receiving the massage for back pain should lie down on his/her belly on a firm, comfortable surface, such as a floor mat or firm bed. Make sure that you the whole back of the massage receiver is comfortably within reach. Stand by the side of the person and place one hand on the lower back and teh other between the shoulder blades, over the heart.

Warm up the back by applying thumb pressure along both sides of the spine simultaneously: start from the lower back and knead gently with your thumbs up to the neck area. This will also promote relaxation.

Use a smooth, delicate stroke, called "effleurage", to apply massage oil. In one long stroke, slide your palms down either side of the spine to the pelvis; scoop out around the hips and back up the sides to the shoulders. Maintain contact with the back. Move your hands over the back to start a new area. Continue up both sides of the neck to the base of the head.

Starting at the spine, slide your palms in opposite directions outward to the sides of the back, starting with the lower back area, and moving up to the shoulders.

Knead the fleshy muscular areas at the top of the shoulders, the mid-back area and the buttocks to loosen any tight muscles and fascia, which is a connective tissue.

Paul Osborne is the executive editor of http://backpain-resources-online.com & http://lowerbackpainrelief.org Both sites offer a host of information, tips and advice for lower back pain relief.

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